Double Entendre

I thought you were the perfect girl
I dreamt we walked hand in hand by the Atheneum
I talked of our future and you
a golden fire, flushed dark
sparrows from tangled limbs.

You lived with your boyfriend on Fillmore
who dropped you off not suspecting a
thing, trusting, like a lover, trusting
we made love in my garret apartment with
paper thin walls, your screams shattered tea cups in China and broke my heart.

I thought you were the perfect girl
a black and white photograph
like the Keaton films we watched
on love seats at the Red Vic
while the rain outside softly adding it’s tympani to the soundtrack
their thoughtless trajectory in mindless pursuit of oneness.

And you across the room asking me
asking me what I want to do to do and I answer you
and you answer me, ‘if you want to touch me, then just touch me.’

Mantled in heavens like cloaks of stars
an open equation facing the eye of an angel
glinting with the fine strands of celestial knowledge made manifest
the color of water, a voice the sound of a nova collapsing of hearts breaking

Nothing is forever

what has a beginning has an ending,
and if I say it’s heads up, you ask what’s on the other side?
: an open equation facing the void

and where were you when you realized that you had to guard against the world?
wondering if your feeble limbs could grow courageous?
and what age were you when you resigned, and took up the plow of an everyday life,
brushing aside past dreams to a place called Enough?
and where were you when you rose in vertical velocity to overcome adversity,
and fell against a world with timeless patience eroding willfulness like rust?

Like Euridice, the spiral took you
what does not stand together tumbles apart
stones wept, moisture beading on fevered limbs

and here I stand years later,
argus-eyed and keen
absolving the past in laughter and forgetting
and still you exist in a gilded frame
daring me to forget
prodding me to laugh
saying, ‘what a perfect gift
such a beautiful failure.’

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