lost

patgirlsubway

Sorry to have bothered you…
but I was lost and you were no help.
I thought you knew where I was going,
you said you did, but you lied.
But how could I rely on that?
I didn’t even know where I was going myself.
You told me “go thataway and when you get there, take a left.”
Little did I know you held true north inside you.
You could have just said, “follow me.”
I would have, anywhere!
but I didn’t have the courage, and waited too long for an invitation.

I just stood there, seeing you fade,
from a question mark, thinning to an exclamation point,
finally reduced to a period.
I wept when you disappeared from sight, our dialogue becoming a monologue.
Grieving.
You could have left me a map, or a trail of breadcrumbs,
something, anything, you fucker.
But here I am, lost as ever.

How do you expect me to follow?
I will wander here in this desolate wilderness,
not even a parenthetical to comfort me.
I grasp at any depression hinting of your footsteps,
but they are as elusive as the mirage on the horizon.
All I can do is take step after leaden step,
hoping to get to wherever I am going.
But there is hope: you can find me.
I will send smoke signals:
Meet me – MEET ME
WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN
OVER THERE
…and I will explore you
wherever you go
from the top of your head
to the tip of your toes

I have no map
but you are my terrain
and I am no longer lost.